Second Love...

i wish my heart would make up its mind...
soon after the guy left, i met a new guy friend...he swore to make me happy after i revealed what was going on to make me so sad...
it's been a month...
i think i'm falling in love again...
but he has a girlfriend, and i've supported him through his hard time in winning her over and stuff...quite helpful, i'd imagine. but now...now that he's got her...i realize that i have to give up my little hidden hopes of life with him...and it hurts.
i do love him, i know, at least as a friend. and he's told me that he loves me too, as a friend. but he wont give up more than that, and now that he's with her, im convinced.
but for a while, i thought i had reason to hope, perhaps...
and now i find out i was terribly mistaken.
i've cried for the last hour...
i dont know, maybe it's just me learning that i have to give up on dreaming of love. dreams are impossible wishes, and i am an idiot.
who could ever love me, anyway? im surprised he's stuck around with me this long, anyway...and that goes to everyone, really. i cant imagine why...why anyone would care, why anyone would want me...
so a final toast to what i dont have, that i always wanted, that i may never get. here's to what ive lost, to what i love...to what i will never have.